this website is taking up my time.
I have decided that it is my honest desire to become a doula. I have been considering this for 20 months and think it is a real thing I want to do, I debated and decided that this is not just an interest due to the phase of life I am in (reminder I have an 18 Month old and 3 Month old)
See, I know myself and my personality. I know that I usually jump in to things that are just a phase so fast that I'm out of said phase w/ T-shirt to prove it in as little as three days. I'd blame my parents but honestly it is my inner personality to want to try a little of everything and never be satisfied. Shame on me, I know I know…
(flash back)
I've always been easily swayed because I am a people pleaser; I tend to do what I see others approving of. When I was in 2nd grade I saw an 8th grade girl in a form fitted, long black dress playing classical music on stage at a local fund raiser, the lights shining on her and the crowd applauding her. She was so beautiful up there, and she made it look so natural. So like any right minded 8 year old I begged. I begged my mother for Piano lessons, and after two weeks of empty promises my mother caved and agreed. She knew I wouldn’t last but I was sure to prove her wrong.
I lay in bed that night with visions of me being the next guy from Shine, but only happier, and with the grown up black dress, I could see the folds in the skirt, how it floated against the stage and how my collarbone would graze the neck line. I could see the ladies at next years fund raiser saying "we never knew Gwen was a child prodigy." And “Oh, if her mother only would have started her earlier with those lessons…”
I went to school that day and stood in line for kick ball telling a boy who also played the piano that i was going to my "lessons" after school. I said it in a bored voice although my insides were jumping. He didn’t look impressed enough. I asked him how it felt to play and he looked at me like I was from Pluto. I decided then that I would have a crush on him because he understood my love for music.
I came home ready to play; I had done finger exercises through math and was ready to hear praises from my music teacher. When I walked into my home however there was an Organ where my baby black baby grand was suppose to sit. I was devastated. See, Organs drum up visions of blue haired grandmas playing Rock of Ages in stuffy churches, did my mother not know who I was? What I was meant to become? Music couldn’t come out of that box with two keyboards. I was so embarrassed to even be in the room looking at it. Tears burned my eyes but I didn’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings, so I sat on the bench feeling stupid and hating the organ before me. I wanted to quit immediately, and after 4 months of lessons I did just that.
I have countless stories where if I had the gumption to do anything 100% I would be a very skilled 23 year old. That is the problem with life experience; if you want it all you can’t have it fully. I could get all shrink-talk and say I quit so I won’t fail, but honestly I had a short attention span.
I have wanted the same tattoo for 6 years but my fear from my “life experience” says wait another year to make sure.
Anyways I have been noticing that when I share my birth stories they are different then my friends stories, when people have a baby I fall in love with their labor and post-partum time as well as the baby, I love learning about all the ins and outs of child birth and count my 18 (19 and 6 days to be exact) of pregnancy to be the most fascinating in my life personally.
Any advice? If you have had or are planning on having, or know, like or are a doula?
-Gwen
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Hebrews 4:13
3 comments:
Thank you for your wonderful comment on my blog! I hope you don't mind if I answer to this post, which I found fascinating and to which I can completely relate...
I decided to become a doula because I was passionate about childbirth but I had just had a baby, and I couldn't do more than something occasional. Being a doula made sense as a way to satisfy that passion in my phase of life.
It's five years later, and I have found that, after unsuccessful cello lessons, singing lessons, and painting attempts, my passion for childbirth has not waned. My doula business has never hiccuped. Maybe because I can choose how many (or how few) clients I want to have. Maybe because each birth is so unique, each mother acts differently, that I learn and grow with every experience.
Becoming a doula is easy! I was certified through DONA, and I think you will know through your training whether this is something you want to pursue. If it isn't, you will still learn valuable skills that will help you through other life situations. I think you will want to go on and be a certified, practicing doula, though.
For me, the deciding point was how comfortable I felt while observing a woman in labor. I knew what was going on, and I felt at ease with labor. I am not certain I always did the right thing or was amazingly helpful in those first births, but I loved being there. The world of labor makes sense to me.
Your reasons are probably different, but I'd be willing to bet that you're considering this because you still feel passionate about birth. If that's true, do this. Become a doula. Come into the world of birth as someone trained to help women have the births they want.
I was certified when I had a two-year-old and a three-month-old. It is possible! And it gets easier to be a doula as your children grow, even a little bit at a time.
Get a network of babysitters in place and sign up for the weekend training course. Get some of the required reading list books. Then offer to attend the births of friends or relatives, no matter what kind of birth they are planning, and suddenly you're a doula. You will love this work.
Good luck to you!
Warmly,
Jennifer
I'm taking my doula training course through DONA this October. I'm doing it for the exact same reasons as Jenn above. I could have written the same comment almost. :)
Good luck with your decision.
Hello! I just left you a super long comment telling you about my doula experiences, etc but I think I managed to lose it into the blogosphere. I have no idea were it went. I was trying to link my blog onto it, but oh well. The main gist of it though was go over and check out www.birthingfromwithin.com and check out their doula training. I feel it is the coolest approach out there (I have done their mentor and doula trainings, so I do have experience with them). I did my first doula certification with Birthworks, but they no longer have a doula program. I love my bfw training though!
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